Penning this write-up was a challenge to me at the inception. Why? Why not? Should I waste my ink on a query every Mulika, Chike and Wale has got an answer for? To the question above, the dudes would echo in base we of course and the babes would equally sing the same in ever sweet melancholies thus putting me in a dilemma, a Scylla and charybdis.. I am then thus; pitched to choose how to die, to be killed either by a monster with a hundred eyes or a whirlwind of which the fate of both are the same. I would have loved to sit this one out on the fence, but shall I be faulted if I side the ladies? Shall I be Mutallabed if I say that they should be allowed to dominate? Heres the case; enough is enough, we dudes ought to stop showing off our small selves like sey we too much, like sey dominance na our birth right. God made man first, then so what? Did he not create woman out of man being the raw material? Do you not know that woman is a pure and refined product form its ore?
The word man we all know stands for both MAN and woMAN. Do not call me a conspiracy theorist but have you ever considered the fact that God might have created woman before man? What if man, due to his build and strength had conspired ab-initio to rewrite history thereby terming woman the weaker vessels? I keep pondering and with these I still ask, should ladies not dominate in a relationship? Now I am talking about dominance, not partial but total dominance over everything; loyalty, respect, love, care, major excesses; gift giving, buying movie and show tickets, recharge cards, paying for hair dos, pedicure and manicure et al, paying for shopping sprees, eatery stake-outs, e.t.c, the list is endless. With great power comes great responsibility, of which in this case, being the cash cow is added to it. So ladies do you still think you should dominate? Then I suggest you all shave up your hair and glue them to your jaws and chin to show that you have a beard and now you are ready to dominate, now you are the man.
You have mans total respect and loyalty (as in, you are made his superior by all laws; in air, land, sea and water). You have the last word in every argument, your opinions are above his, and you enforce his kind of friends, his hair and beard style, you ban him from smoking or drinking alcohol just because you dont like it or you want to, but neglecting the fact that he finds pleasure, happiness and highness there. It becomes his duty to wash your clothes, panties, pantyhose, catapults. He may not do so at all times, but when required, he has got to, by force. Its his duty to go to the market, get the food stuffs and the food done. Its his duty to do the house chores. He makes sure your home is in good order whenever around. At times he leaves his own crib solely for this aim. And what of bedmatics? Aha, you thought Ill leave that out eh? I guess youll love to have him lie back and receive all the hammering and thonging. Once youre done, not caring if hes satisfied or not, you roll over and die until morning. While in other cases, you just kip throbbing none stop until he begs for mercy. My dear lovely ladies, this is just a case, but I wont be wrong to have stated it as the kind of dominance you all have in mind. Since you ladies are now superior, he will tend to agitate, revolt, engage in all manner of (man) gender equality bullshit, but yet his status remains the same, why? Like I said before, the woman had been made his senior by all powers beyond him.
But ladies, will I be hanged if I make some wide guesses or assumptions? That during your supreme reign of dominance, that you wont be man enough, pardon me, I meant woman enough to prove your mettle in the top priorities of your new status, the top responsibility of being the cash cow. That even as you dominate, as he goes to the market to procure food stuffs, groceries, domestics under your command, that he solely gets all these with his own cash. That even as you dominate, you still veto him into paying for hair your dos, and all manner of beauty treatments of which the reverse should be the case. That he still has to take you shopping, to fast food places and movie marathons. Take you partying in pubs, clubs, beaches and all manner of sprees and spending exigencies all with his money. That he still pays for your house rent or at least gives you part of it.but wait a minute.I thought you were the superior of the sexes, the dominant one?
What of the festivities? He takes care of them. And the Birthday? He takes care of his own and yours too even though thats your job. And then here comes the almighty St. Valentines day, you are still the superior, so its normal if you get him an expensive wristwatch, may be Chris Aire, with a 24c yellow or white gold chain and ring to match. Its also normal for you to get him a clean cut diamond stud, a Zara Tux with it, a Tom Ford stunner and a Nike Air- force one snickers 2010 edition to match. You shouldnt also forget that he has to be strong for you, so hell love it if you also get him a carton of any power horse; of course you know he burns lots of energy during Sunday-sports (sex).
Now allow me to be frank, I suppose you wont even get him any of these, rather youll buy him just a singlet and a boxer short and with your domination, still veto him into buying you boxes of chocolates, teddy bears as big and beautiful as the Taj mahal, Gucci, Prada or Louis Vouitton kits comprising of a bag, a wristwatch, a purse, a slipper, a pair of shoes, a necklace or chain, and of course a perfume all by the same designer, all to match. Lunch or dinner at Mc donalds, Tanties, TFC, Mr Biggs, e.t.c must not be left out as she will want to show everyone who cares that she is pon the game unless you dont want the lem indoors. And finally after all this madness and anarchy, the dude will go to his friends and boast; ol boi, no see this boxers and singlet wey my Barbie by for meand then hell lie.imagine, she even bought me a perfume. Ill stop here because I believe that by now, you are all asking for my head, but I will ask and beg you to excuse or pardon me if have spoken amiss, for my will is good and still yet the question remains thus, this; BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS, WHO SHOULD DOMINATE?
The word man we all know stands for both MAN and woMAN. Do not call me a conspiracy theorist but have you ever considered the fact that God might have created woman before man? What if man, due to his build and strength had conspired ab-initio to rewrite history thereby terming woman the weaker vessels? I keep pondering and with these I still ask, should ladies not dominate in a relationship? Now I am talking about dominance, not partial but total dominance over everything; loyalty, respect, love, care, major excesses; gift giving, buying movie and show tickets, recharge cards, paying for hair dos, pedicure and manicure et al, paying for shopping sprees, eatery stake-outs, e.t.c, the list is endless. With great power comes great responsibility, of which in this case, being the cash cow is added to it. So ladies do you still think you should dominate? Then I suggest you all shave up your hair and glue them to your jaws and chin to show that you have a beard and now you are ready to dominate, now you are the man.
You have mans total respect and loyalty (as in, you are made his superior by all laws; in air, land, sea and water). You have the last word in every argument, your opinions are above his, and you enforce his kind of friends, his hair and beard style, you ban him from smoking or drinking alcohol just because you dont like it or you want to, but neglecting the fact that he finds pleasure, happiness and highness there. It becomes his duty to wash your clothes, panties, pantyhose, catapults. He may not do so at all times, but when required, he has got to, by force. Its his duty to go to the market, get the food stuffs and the food done. Its his duty to do the house chores. He makes sure your home is in good order whenever around. At times he leaves his own crib solely for this aim. And what of bedmatics? Aha, you thought Ill leave that out eh? I guess youll love to have him lie back and receive all the hammering and thonging. Once youre done, not caring if hes satisfied or not, you roll over and die until morning. While in other cases, you just kip throbbing none stop until he begs for mercy. My dear lovely ladies, this is just a case, but I wont be wrong to have stated it as the kind of dominance you all have in mind. Since you ladies are now superior, he will tend to agitate, revolt, engage in all manner of (man) gender equality bullshit, but yet his status remains the same, why? Like I said before, the woman had been made his senior by all powers beyond him.
But ladies, will I be hanged if I make some wide guesses or assumptions? That during your supreme reign of dominance, that you wont be man enough, pardon me, I meant woman enough to prove your mettle in the top priorities of your new status, the top responsibility of being the cash cow. That even as you dominate, as he goes to the market to procure food stuffs, groceries, domestics under your command, that he solely gets all these with his own cash. That even as you dominate, you still veto him into paying for hair your dos, and all manner of beauty treatments of which the reverse should be the case. That he still has to take you shopping, to fast food places and movie marathons. Take you partying in pubs, clubs, beaches and all manner of sprees and spending exigencies all with his money. That he still pays for your house rent or at least gives you part of it.but wait a minute.I thought you were the superior of the sexes, the dominant one?
What of the festivities? He takes care of them. And the Birthday? He takes care of his own and yours too even though thats your job. And then here comes the almighty St. Valentines day, you are still the superior, so its normal if you get him an expensive wristwatch, may be Chris Aire, with a 24c yellow or white gold chain and ring to match. Its also normal for you to get him a clean cut diamond stud, a Zara Tux with it, a Tom Ford stunner and a Nike Air- force one snickers 2010 edition to match. You shouldnt also forget that he has to be strong for you, so hell love it if you also get him a carton of any power horse; of course you know he burns lots of energy during Sunday-sports (sex).
Now allow me to be frank, I suppose you wont even get him any of these, rather youll buy him just a singlet and a boxer short and with your domination, still veto him into buying you boxes of chocolates, teddy bears as big and beautiful as the Taj mahal, Gucci, Prada or Louis Vouitton kits comprising of a bag, a wristwatch, a purse, a slipper, a pair of shoes, a necklace or chain, and of course a perfume all by the same designer, all to match. Lunch or dinner at Mc donalds, Tanties, TFC, Mr Biggs, e.t.c must not be left out as she will want to show everyone who cares that she is pon the game unless you dont want the lem indoors. And finally after all this madness and anarchy, the dude will go to his friends and boast; ol boi, no see this boxers and singlet wey my Barbie by for meand then hell lie.imagine, she even bought me a perfume. Ill stop here because I believe that by now, you are all asking for my head, but I will ask and beg you to excuse or pardon me if have spoken amiss, for my will is good and still yet the question remains thus, this; BOYFRIENDS OR GIRLFRIENDS, WHO SHOULD DOMINATE?
By Blaise Aboh
